ИЄРНЇŁЇΜ
by influenceONchildren
Summary: PERMANENT HIATUS. A collection of one-shots, drabbles and more. Comedy, drama, romance, angst, cross-dressing, and confusion. All wrapped up in one little box with a big, shiny bow just for you! Prompt 2 - Alek learns to fly! ...Sort of.
1. Bovril

**Ah, my first thing posted in the **_**Leviathan**_** series section. Odd that it should be this and not **_**Blood Ties**_**, which I've been killing myself over. (grumbles something about not enough accurate information)**

**Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this because this is what happens when you're at your younger cousin's fourteenth birthday party and the only ones close to your age are your younger sister, her boyfriend, and your older cousin.**

**Disclaimer: I hold not legal rights over characters, places or settings. They legally belong to Scott Westerfeld... and to other countries and times.**

* * *

**Promt: Bovril eats Bovril, cannibalism?**

**ИЄРНЇŁЇΜ**

**by iOc**

**Bovril**

"Hey, Alek?"

"Yeah?"

"What's Bovril eating?"

"I don't know. It looks like Bovril."

"Huh."

"What do you mean, 'huh'?"

"It's not really a food. It's a spread."

"So?"

"Think about it. And that raises another question, how did he even get that stuff to begin with? I didn't think we had any on board!"

"...You know, you should _really_ think about working on not squeaking when you yell. It hurts the ears."

"Sorry, old habits don't die hard. But, I mean, _seriously_! Where did he get that?"

"Dylan?"

"What?"

"Be quiet."

"Oh, shove off."

"_Mr._ Sharp."

A giggle.

Silence.

"Dylan?"

"I thought I told you to shove off."

"You did, but I was wondering..."

"...Well?"

"'Well,' what?"

"Well, what were you wondering?"

"If Bovril is eating Bovril, does that make him a cannibal?"

* * *

**Hah. It's not really that funny. It's more of an amusing whim than anything.**

**I would like to mention the title. "Nephilim" are the offspring of the "sons of god" (sometimes described as angels) and the "daughters of man." It's an unholy pairing, which is kind of like Deryn and Alek (however one-sided it may be). A lot of these stories will either be comedy or Derlek pairing. **

**Hey, look at that, I created a title for our favorite couple. It was either that, or Alryn.**


	2. Flying High

**Yay! Another one of these little oneshots. **

**I know that it's been a while (over a week now). I've been working on my costumes for Acen 2011 this year. I'll be cosplaying as Patti (JabbyChan is going to be Liz and maybe one of our friends from last year will be Death the Kid) and Paikachu (this one's pretty awesome, I'm knitting the whole thing, so if you'll be there look for me).**

**We were supposed to be working on hats tonight but… ADHD and WoW took over. Jabby had a bunch of sales, **_**Robot Chicken**_** and then **_**Aqua Teen Hunger Force**_**, and vegan chocolate… I think some of you can pick up the story from there.**

**And now, a word from the insane: **_**Robot Chicken**_** makes me laugh, but Zombie Hitler is pretty scary. (O_o) …Let's just go with that.**

**Disclaimer: Check the previous chapter for my message on this.**

* * *

**Prompt: Alek's first Huxley lesson.**

**ИЄРНЇŁЇΜ**

**by iOc**

**Flying High**

"Are you sure that this is safe?"

"Alek, I do it all the time."

"Uh-huh, and…?"

"'And,' what?"

Sigh. "Nevermind."

"What do you mean, 'never mind'? Aleksander, you tell me what you mean!"

"Ow! _Ow!_ _OW!_ Let go of me, you abusive dummkopf."

"Not until you tell me what you meant!"

"Ach! I give!"

"Say 'uncle'!"

"Uncle. Uncle! _Uncle_! Wait, why am I crying uncle?"

"I… don't know."

"Ha!"

"Get back here you — Gah!"

_**Crash.**_

Groans.

"Get up, you lazy Clanker."

"Hey! Let me go!"

"Get in the holster… Ha!"

"Uh, Dylan, I think there's something you should know."

"What?"

"…I'm afraid of heights."

* * *

**I figure that Alek, although flying in a giant, mutated whale, could possibly be afraid of heights. I mean, personally, I can only handle a height of twenty or thirty something feet before I start to hyperventilate, but I can peek over the edge of a cliff a hundred feet up and only feel slightly dizzy.**

**A note on the side, "dummkopf" means "dumb-head" in it's literal translation. It's not spelt "kompf," "komf" or however some of you are spelling it. I took three years of basic German in high school, and I know my body part. Also, I know how to insult people, and I know how to make it sound like a compliment. Who knew that something from high school would pay off in the future? (****Note: I had originally misspelled it as "dommkopf. I'm going to blame it on the fact that I was writing it late at night and I was helping JabbyChan… sort of. Thank you to Pony for pointing that out.)**

**Ah, the insanity of my German class. How I miss it and the random Uno card pick up that we used to play after our teacher got fired for hitting a kid. I'd like to thank this time to thank that elderly man who taught me how to swear. Danke, mein Lehrer. Ich liebe dich!**

**ItalianRose5: Yes, dialogue stories are always the most entertaining. They do allow a certain amount of imagination to the reader.**

**FleaBird6: I've never heard of _Many Waters_, but I think so. Nephilim are sort of universal, being the decendents of the Sons of God and the Daughters of Men and all. ESP, lol. **

**Pony: Yeah, it's not really cannabalism, but it's an amusing thought, nonetheless.**

**Holly Marie Fowl: Dalek reminds me of _Dr. Who_ for some reason. I wonder why...**

**JabbyChan: No! You're totally awesome and I love hanging out with you. And yes, I'm totally pumped about the third book coming out.**

**Thank you to flippy50 for adding this to your favorite stories list.**

**Thank you to Tatters5, Swifty14, and Spintherin for adding this to their storie alerts list.**


End file.
